Take Time to Read This (My comeback entry)

Where was I?
I got lost in a storm.
Storm that was full of emotions.
I fell in love.
I sacrificed a lot of things.
My “friends” turned their backs on me.
My family hated me,
that even I, eventually, hated myself as well.
But if there is something I learned and realized after my experience,
it is about not giving up on your life.
Life is really tough and time comes that you would fall on your knees.
If you fall, you have two options.
It is to get up immediately or rest.
If you choose to get up immediately,
be sure you wouldn’t burn yourself up.
Yes, it is good to be able to move on,
but if in exchange you’ll be sacrificing yourself and your happiness,
take time to reconsider.
Maybe you need to rest.
Rest as an option does not mean taking your own life.
It means you need to take time in fixing yourself.
Gather enough strength so you would be able to face the challenges you’ve left.
Rediscover yourself if you’ve lost it when you were trying to prove your worth to people.
Learn to love yourself first, before others.

Taking your own life is the worst option you’ll ever think of.
I tried.
I failed.
After experiencing a ranging storm for months,
little by little I started seeing light.
The storm became calm and sun came in.
Things did not return as they were before,
but I’m gratefully enjoying the sun,
tho there’s still storm.

Life is both storm and sunny.
You just need to learn to live in both sides.
Enjoy the Sun and Rain,
because that is when rainbow comes.
Rainbow is the gifts.
These are the people, the places and the music,
that you did not notice before that will bring happiness to you.

I’m Back.

Typical scenario as closet bi

Typical scenario when a couple (boy-girl) walks in front of me (closet bisexual) and my friends (straight-gurls)

Friends: OMG! Did you see THAT??  What a handsome guy???? The girl is so lucky!!!

In my mind..Me: Her face is so angelic!! I think I’m inlove!!

In reality.. Me: A little. He’s just tall.

And turns out, my girlfriends think I have high standards in choosing a boyfriend but actually, its the girls that I love. HAHA! Why is life as closet bisexual so difficult?

Isang tanong

Mahal mo?
Sige ipaglaban mo. Pero may isang tanong ako sayo…

Hanggang kailan?

Hanggang kailan ka aasa na mamahalin ka niya gaya ng pag mamahal mo sa kanya?

Hanggang kailan kang sisilip silip sa facebook o twitter niya?

Hanggang kailan ka mag titiis sa sakit sa tuwing makikita mo siyang may kasamang iba?

Hanggang kailan mo ipagkakait sa sarili mo yung kaligayahan na deserve mo?

Hanggang kailan ka lalaban?

Hanggang kailan ka mag papakatanga?

Siguro, oras na para maisip mo na sapat na yung panahon na nilaan mo kakahintay sa kanya. Oras na para unahin mo yung happiness mo.

Deserve mo maging masaya.
Deserve mo mag mahal pero, MAS DESERVE MO ang makatanggap ng pagmamahal na katumbas o higit pa sa binibigay mo.

(Oh dba? Sabi ko isang tanong lang, biglang marami pala HAHAHA)

Friends lang tayo (Filipino version)

Mahirap mainlove sa bestfriend, lalo na kung alam mong may gusto siyang iba.

Kahit gaano ko kagusto mag tapat sayo, alam kong hindi magiging tayo.

Yung dream guy mong matangkad, gwapo, may jawline.
at ito ako, matangkad, tamang-ganda (HAHA), walang jawline… at babae.

Kung pwede lang kita yayaing manuod ng “baka bukas” at umamin sayo,
kaso alam kong “no” sagot mo,

Kasi babae ka at babae ako.

at hanggang friends lang tayo.

Only in my dreams.

I never thought this day would come,

I fell in love in a blink of an eye,
You, my friend, my greatest love
a lady I knew last 12th of July

Maybe it was your smile,
maybe it was your eyes,
maybe your sweetness that touched my heart

Sincerity in your heart, which I truly admire
You’re wise like Russel in wonderland,
Your hug gives comfort to saddest hearts,
You are my sunshine in everyday life

How I wish you hear my words,
If only you could see through my walls
painful it is to pretend im not,
In love with a lady I once knew

But reality, I can never escape,
I know I can’t, I know you wouldn’t
a prince is what you want, a lonely truth
You, my friend, my greatest love
The only love I need to hide.

To My Friend who is Afraid To Love.

Dear Friend,

I’m afraid some fuck boy will come to your life and hurt you. If only I can select and filter out the good guys from the crowd, I would. If only I can interview and interrogation in every guy you talk to is possible, I would. If only I can save your heart from all the pain that love will cause, I would. As long as you haven’t found the best guy for you, I promise not to leave you. I will always be your friend no matter how moody you are. I’m going to make time and be sure I’m with you in every success and hardships you go through.

Yes. You’re a strong independent lady, with great mind and personality but you fear love so much that you’ve closed your doors. You avoid conversations, even small talks. You built walls to prevent guys entering your life. You’re afraid to fell in love to someone that might break your heart. I hope you learn and try to take chances the way you took chances in our friendship. My friend, you’re the most kind and softhearted person I’ve ever met. Please trust me. Someday, someone will be there and will break the boundaries and walls you’ve made. He will make you happy in every second of your life.He will love you more than I love you.

Hoping for the day you suddenly message me and say, “I found him!”

Love,

your snob friend.