I can’t have you.

Do you know how difficult it is to fall in love to someone that can never be yours? No matter how hard you try to be in her life, she’s just out of your league. You want to be with her during her tough times and be the shoulder she can cry on, but it can’t be. She seems so happy with someone else. She’s seem so happy… How I wish to be that someone.

Advertisements

To My Friend who is Afraid To Love.

Dear Friend,

I’m afraid some fuck boy will come to your life and hurt you. If only I can select and filter out the good guys from the crowd, I would. If only I can interview and interrogation in every guy you talk to is possible, I would. If only I can save your heart from all the pain that love will cause, I would. As long as you haven’t found the best guy for you, I promise not to leave you. I will always be your friend no matter how moody you are. I’m going to make time and be sure I’m with you in every success and hardships you go through.

Yes. You’re a strong independent lady, with great mind and personality but you fear love so much that you’ve closed your doors. You avoid conversations, even small talks. You built walls to prevent guys entering your life. You’re afraid to fell in love to someone that might break your heart. I hope you learn and try to take chances the way you took chances in our friendship. My friend, you’re the most kind and softhearted person I’ve ever met. Please trust me. Someday, someone will be there and will break the boundaries and walls you’ve made. He will make you happy in every second of your life.He will love you more than I love you.

Hoping for the day you suddenly message me and say, “I found him!”

Love,

your snob friend.

Outside Comfort Zone v1.

It takes guts to step outside your comfort zone. Imagine, you’ll be doing things you haven’t done before or things you really find difficult. You’ll start questioning yourself why is everyone seems to be busy with their own adventure. Me, I really hate math and I curse it with all possible demons. I remember taking my Economics exam with no calculator because its freaking battery worn out that very moment. Tho that incident wasn’t my decision to step out because I was forceeeed to solve division of decimals!! I failed my exam having 6 over 20 but somehow I feel proud since I was able to solve and conquer my weakness tho its small hahaha gosh I hate math.

Going to back to stepping outside your comfort zone, it may take time but without knowing, you would see the growth in you. It’s not you who first sees your growth but its the people around you so don’t be afraid if you don’t recognize change. Be the person you wanted to be, may be you think its impossible but its not. It’s all in your mind, full of fears. If you’re always scared to try new and experience new, you will never grow and become better. Changer for the better. 

(BUT NEVER FORGET THE PEOPLE WHO STAYED WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE AT WORST)

Waiting for the One.

Rose and Rosie. A lesbian. A bisexual. How lucky for them to find one another. Seeing them makes me believe that love is worth of all sacrifices and pain. The way they look on each other’s eyes, it shows their heart’s overflowing with love. They both seem so happy and excited together. Every time I see their videos in Snapchat and Youtube, I start to wonder whether I’ve already met the one, my soulmate. Happy for those who already have theirs or already did exchange of phone numbers. Rose and Rosie are my reasons why I should keep my patience long because they did not rush life and waited to find one another. Sometimes, I ask myself, what if. what if I stop being a lady and become a “guy”? But I know I should’t and someday, someone’s going to make me feel contented and complete. I’m just afraid that I’m too random that people find it hard to grasp my personality. I hope my soulmate is just busy drinking coffee or riding a bike or doing fishing by the shore. But where can you possibly be?

To Pretend Like A Fool.

“You are my friend.”

These words broke my heart.
Shattered, as if I’m a glass.
Lost, like a treasure,
never found.

My eyes went blurred,
an overflowing dam.
unknowing,
tears fell,
one by one.

I laughed and laughed,
pretended, I’m in joy.

Forgetting the pain
and smiling like a fool.

’cause I’m your friend
A friend,
’til the end.
.